A conversation with a friend got me to thinking about forgiveness and what it really is. Talking to others, I realized my thoughts differed a bit from the mainstream. The friend in question was amazed when I told her I had forgiven my stepfather who "got to me" as a little girl. I was amazed when she thought this meant we had re-established some sort of relationship. I told her we hadn't, that in fact I had never told him I'd forgiven him, and that if he ever so much as looked at my girls I'd put a bullet in his head. To me forgiveness doesn't change the nature of the person; it's something you do for the sake of your own soul. I have found peace with what happened by forgiving him that I never had in the years of holding on to being angry or hurt. Forgiveness is not a doorway back into my life to cause more trouble, though. If a person is a predator or a liar or a cheat, they still are after they are forgiven and it is still my responsibility to protect me and mine from them. I dunno where I was going with this, I've been chewing on it for a while after said conversation and this little tidbit from U2's new album:
Choose your enemies carefully because they will define you
Make them interesting because in some ways they will mind you
They're not there in the beginning but when your story ends
Gonna last with you longer than your friends
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